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Old 12-08-2012, 06:24 PM   #21
2GrandMan
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Re: What terrible things have you taugh other people's children?

Taught my friends 5 year old "thats what she said" Had him running around all day saying it in response to everything we could come up with. Greatest day ever, especially since his mother was coming to pick him up in a few hours from the time he really got the hang of it. Dad was shitting bricks that he was gonna say it to her!!

And just last week I told him that his cold sore on his lip was herpes and that he needed to ask mommy for herpes medication. Now when I ask him hows his lip he just yells at me "its not herpes!!!!"
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Old 12-08-2012, 07:26 PM   #22
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Re: What terrible things have you taugh other people's children?

To be a good person... that is the worst thing I have taught peoples kids.
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Old 12-08-2012, 07:38 PM   #23
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Re: What terrible things have you taugh other people's children?

My little 4 year old cousin overheard me saying the word shit, and asked what it meant. I gave him an honest answer, and he couldn't stop using shit in every other sentence all weekend of our family reunion He'd say things like "That dog needs to take a shit!" or "You look like shit.", or "I need to shit!", or just yelling it in general.

We ate dinner at a fancy expensive lake restaurant on the last day. The server asked how our food was just after we all got our stuff, and he yells out "Tastes like shit woman!"
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Old 12-08-2012, 07:52 PM   #24
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Re: What terrible things have you taugh other people's children?

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Originally Posted by bryan j View Post
My cousin just had another baby. They also have a 4 yr old. One day the older boy was holding the baby and he started crying. I said he's prly hungry go tell your mom to give him some titty milk lol. In a group of ppl he walks up and says, mom I think bubba needs some titty milk. Oooo she was pissed.


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I tempt my cousins kids with wine "its just grape juice"
And plum brandy.
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I heard something like this the other day, but the daughter goes, "Mommy, it's not coffee cause you don't drink coffee this late at night."

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I taught my bother's kids to flush keys and wallets down the toilet.

Every birthday and xmas I also give the girls a huge sticker pack of the trendiest cartoon ... they end up all over the house. Either that, or a pack of colored Sharpies.

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Originally Posted by 2grandman View Post
Taught my friends 5 year old "thats what she said" Had him running around all day saying it in response to everything we could come up with. Greatest day ever, especially since his mother was coming to pick him up in a few hours from the time he really got the hang of it. Dad was shitting bricks that he was gonna say it to her!!

And just last week I told him that his cold sore on his lip was herpes and that he needed to ask mommy for herpes medication. Now when I ask him hows his lip he just yells at me "its not herpes!!!!"
:

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Old 12-08-2012, 09:26 PM   #25
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I taught my buddy's 4 year old to say boobies every time he hears "roll tide". they are from mobile Alabama and huge tide fans. Makes their family get togethers entertaining


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Old 12-08-2012, 10:40 PM   #26
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Old 12-08-2012, 11:47 PM   #27
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Re: What terrible things have you taugh other people's children?

Not that it's a big deal to us but when my girlfriend and her son moved in with me he was 4. His dad's never been around so he's a total mamma's boy. Within about 3 months of living with me, he get's caught taking a wizz on the tree at daycare... When mom picked him up, the teacher asked her to make sure he knows it's not okay to pee on the tree in the playground. She was more ambarassed than mad, but I still took the hit for that one. I find nothing wrong with it myself, but I guess women don't care to let their son pee in public.
My best friends son (5yr) was playing with his dirtbike toys, making the braaaa braaa noises that we tought him so well, then starts playing out the "guys" words as they jumped the couch. "just do it, don't be a pussy" His mom yells Seth! where did you hear that? That's not ok to say! Of course the little guy threw me under the bus..."uncle Rob" She called me just to tell me what her son had learned from me
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Old 12-09-2012, 06:33 AM   #28
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Re: What terrible things have you taugh other people's children?

This thread is so much win. And.... the ice cream truck one
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Old 12-09-2012, 07:15 AM   #29
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Re: What terrible things have you taugh other people's children?

Not teaching, but doing....

When I was 13 and my little sister was 5, I remember her watching me test some 9 volt batteries using the touch it to your tongue method. She asked what I was doing and I told her, "making sure the batteries are good still." She asked what it felt like and I told her, "a small tingle." Needless to say, she wanted to try. I convinced her that she wouldn't be able to feel the tingle enough from one battery alone, so I hooked up 5 of the 9 volts in series with a wire attached to the positive and negative. Asked if she was ready and stuck them both on her tongue...She screamed and ran out the room crying. Lucky for me she didn't tell my Dad what had happened, or else I'd been the one crying.

She still doesn't remember this little escapade. Probably better that she doesn't.
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Old 12-09-2012, 09:04 AM   #30
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Re: What terrible things have you taugh other people's children?

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Originally Posted by rmerchant3 View Post
Not teaching, but doing....

When I was 13 and my little sister was 5, I remember her watching me test some 9 volt batteries using the touch it to your tongue method. She asked what I was doing and I told her, "making sure the batteries are good still." She asked what it felt like and I told her, "a small tingle." Needless to say, she wanted to try. I convinced her that she wouldn't be able to feel the tingle enough from one battery alone, so I hooked up 5 of the 9 volts in series with a wire attached to the positive and negative. Asked if she was ready and stuck them both on her tongue...She screamed and ran out the room crying. Lucky for me she didn't tell my Dad what had happened, or else I'd been the one crying.

She still doesn't remember this little escapade. Probably better that she doesn't.

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