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Discussion Starter #1
As the title says, everyone post a joke.

Try not to make them too long.

Heres mine.


A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a
little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
"Nice bike", the cop said, "Did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a
safety violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a
reflector light on the back of it."
The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got
there sir, did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure did,"
chuckled the cop.
The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell
Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Another

A man who had been at sea for 3 months on a fishing trawler on arriving back home raced to his local whore house. he was greated by the lady at the front desk with a warm smile and asked "how may i help you today sir"

"i have been at sea for 3 months and fell REALLY horny but i feel a little strange about asking for this particular request" he replied.

"go ahead sir we cater for all sorts of requests here" the madam said.

so he said "ok, well, i really want to **** a chook."

"a chook. no problem" replied the madam without battering an eye "3rd door on the left. that'll be $20"

so the man payed his money and went down to the 3rd door on the left and sure enough there was a chook on a bed. so he had his way with it and left a happy man.

a week later he returned to the whore house and was greated by the same madam. upon seeing the man she asked if he would like the same again?

"No thanx, i am over that and feel quite normal again." he said "i was woundering if i might be able to watch a peep show?" he asked

"peep show? not a problem that'll be $10 and it's the 2nd door on the left."

the man payed his money and went down to the second door on the left. when he entered the dark room he saw a few chairs in a tiny room and through a 2 way mirror could see a couple going hammer and tong on a bed in the next room! there was only one other man in the room. so the man took a seat and started watching. after a few minutes the sailor turned to the other man and said "gee this is alright isn't it?!?!"

the other man just tillted his head and said "yeah you should have been here last week there was a bloke fucking a chook"
 

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great jokes guys.

hope u havent heard this one.

Why dont you give a women oral sex in the morning? :boob

have u ever tried opening a grilled cheese sandwich!!!
:mrgreen: :mrgreen:
hope u like it.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter. St. Peter asks the first girl, "Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a penis?"
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.

"St. Peter says, "Ok, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer have you ever had any contact with a penis?"
The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and stroked one."

St. Peter says "OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."

All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says "Lisa! What seems to be the rush?"

The girl replies "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it."
 

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Discussion Starter #7
And a couple of nun joke. Oldies but goodies.

two nuns were walking down a dark alley minding their own business, when two blokes jumped out and proceeded to rape them.
the first nun, tears running down her cheeks, looked up to heaven and said "forgive them father, for they know not what they are doing"
the second nun, with a huge grin on her face, looked up and said "this one does!!"



three nuns were walking through a park when a bloke jumped out and flashed them.
the first nun had a stroke
the second nun had a stroke
the third nun didn't touch him
 

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loki1313 said:
great jokes guys.

hope u havent heard this one.

Why dont you give a women oral sex in the morning? :boob

have u ever tried opening a grilled cheese sandwich!!!
:mrgreen: :mrgreen:
hope u like it.
OMFG :throwup :boob :throwup :boob
 

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how can you fellas resist so long we need some michael jackson influence in here.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

one is plastic and dangerous to children, the other is used for carrying groceries!

What did the mother say to michael jackson on the beach?

could you please get out of my sun.

ratta tat tat tat tat bump bump bump budump pish!!!
 

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Ok......First off. NO offense to anyone here with this one, if does offend you, don't read it. Also, LONG, but worth the read!



A jet-liner takes off east out of florida to head overseas. About half way across the atlantic, the pilots notice a serious problem! Their payload (or weight) is way too heavy and will require too much fuel to make it across.
At the same time, they are far enough where they can't make it back to florida.

The pilots realize one solution, simply, some people have to get off or they will all die.

A few minutes later, the pilot calmly gets on the intercom to explain the situation to passengers.

After he explained it, he said their was only one way to be fair about it, and that was to go in alphabetical order.

So after everyone calmed down a bit, the pilot calmy gets on teh intercom.... "ok, all african americans, get of the plane"

Oddly, noone gets off.

A couple minutes pass and the pilot gets back on the intercom.......
"ok, all the blacks, get off the plane"

Once again...noone gets off.

So, the pilot tries again........
"ok, all the colored people, get off the plane"

Noone gets off


At this time, a little african american boy in the back of the plane looks up at his dad and says............

"daddy, aren't we all of those?"

His dad looked back at him, and calmly said.........

"not today son, today we are niggers, we will let the mexicans go first"









Once again.....no offense to anyone. I just like the ending cause you do not expect it at all!!
 

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The Part-time Wife

Penfold and I were duscussing the benefits of....so i'd like to start promoting my new product.

The Part-time Wife!



order now and shipping is FREE!
 

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More Michael Jackson.....

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?

Because there's twenty of them!


Btw, where are the part time husbands at???!!! You know, the ones who only want to :hump when WE want to instead of all day everyday, and who take out the trash before we ask or before it overflows, and washes the car, and changes the oil? And can I get that with free shipping :?: :?:
Who said girls were demanding? :twisted:
 
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